I think many of you know that I have a very big and real fear of the dentist. I talk about it openly. I have had a lot of dental trauma and I am allowed to be scared.
My fear of the dentist started really early in life. I did not lose a single baby tooth on my own. Every single one had to be pulled, except for the one that was knocked out by a tire swing.
Then in my teen years, my parents were raising three children without dental insurance, and all three of us needed braces. So a lot of our dental work was done by students.
And honestly, the work was usually excellent. They were supervised by some of the best in the biz, but it also meant multiple four-hour appointments, some pretty severe lockjaw, and a deep, deep dread of anything teeth-related.
So why am I telling you this?
Because on Friday, I went to the dentist.
Without fear.
Without dread.
Without anxiety.
And the wildest part is that I did not even realize it until I was sitting in the chair, casually asking the dentist questions and advocating for myself like it was no big deal.
Holy shit.
My heart was not pounding.
My breath was not shallow.
My shoulders were not up by my ears.
My stomach was not twisted into knots.
I was not thrilled to be there, because let’s be honest, I do not think I will ever be someone who is excited to go to the dentist. But I was not scared.
And that was huge.
I used to take 2mg of Ativan before going to the dentist, and even that did not stop me from literally shaking when I sat down in the chair.
So I paused and asked myself, what is different?
My nervous system.
For months, I have been working with my fear of the dentist in my body. Not just thinking about it. Not just telling myself, “It’s fine, calm down.” Not just trying to be brave.
Actually feeling the fear. Letting it be there. Creating enough safety in my body to stay present with it instead of immediately bracing, avoiding, or shutting down.
And then I had several good dental experiences in a row.
Which sounds simple, but this part matters.
Instead of letting those good experiences pass me by, I let my body really clock them.
After my last root canal, I sat in my car for several minutes and reminded myself, “I didn’t die. I went to the dentist and it was okay. I didn’t die.”
That might sound a little ridiculous, but this is how the body learns.
The body does not rewire because we yell at it to get over it. It rewires when we create a new experience, and then actually let that new experience land. And sometimes we can even just do this with the mind and the body in collaboration, we don't even have to re-do the experience physically.
So now, I do not think I will ever love going to the dentist, but I am not scared to book my next appointment.
And you know what that means?
I get to have a better relationship with my teeth. Which is such a funny sentence, but also so true.
Instead of getting stuck in the downward spiral of avoiding the dentist, feeling ashamed, waiting too long, and then needing more work done, I now get to create an upward spiral.
I can go for regular cleanings.
I can book checkups.
I can deal with little things before they become big things.
I can take care of myself without my nervous system treating it like a life-or-death situation.
That my friends, it is a big deal.
I also have to give a huge shoutout to my dentist, Dr. Tsang, and Radiant Dental in Sherwood Park. He and all of his staff are incredibly kind and trauma-informed. They communicate clearly, explain everything, give options to stop or opt out when possible, and they really helped make it possible for me and my nervous system to begin rewiring this pattern.
So what does this have to do with A Journey Within?
This is exactly the kind of work we do in this program.
Not dental work, obviously.
But nervous system work.
Understanding why your body reacts the way it does.
Learning how to stay with what you feel.
Creating new experiences of safety.
Letting good things actually land.
Building a different relationship with yourself, your emotions, your stress, your fear, your patterns, and your life.
And this works for things way beyond fear of the dentist.
It helps with the places you avoid.
The things that make you spiral.
The reactions that feel bigger than the moment.
The patterns you understand intellectually, but cannot seem to shift.
The places where you know better, but your body has not caught up yet.
That is what A Journey Within is about.
It is not about forcing yourself to be calm, positive, healed, or “high vibe.”
It is about understanding yourself on a deeper level so you can work with yourself instead of constantly fighting yourself.
And truly, it is one of my favorite programs to run and it is the best way to dip your toe into the world of somatics The feedback from it has been some of the most beautiful and meaningful feedback I have received.
We start Monday.
Come and learn about yourself. Come and learn how your nervous system works. Come and create a life with more joy, more ease, more peace, and more capacity to actually be with yourself.
A Journey Within starts Monday.
I would love to have you with us.
A Journey Within(online) begins May 25 at 8:00pm. As a thank you for being a part of my newsletter I am offering 15% off with coupon code 15. I hope to see you on Monday!
You do not have to know anything about somatics to join.
You just have to be willing to begin noticing yourself with a little more compassion.
More information and registration here: https://momence.com/l/5ehy2yMR
Yours In Embodiment,
Trista
